The possibilities that sexuality offers us are almost infinite. Many practices, more or less known and sometimes prone to prejudice, can be very satisfactory, both alone and as a couple.

One of them is known as “tantric sex”, a slower and more thoughtful way of sex. We discover their guidelines with Paola Benavides, spokesperson for JOYclub.

What is tantric sex?

Tantric sex is a sexual practice that is based on tantra, a philosophy of life that was born more than 4,000 years ago in Tibet. It is a slower and more meditated form of sex where the goal is not orgasm, but rather enjoying sexual activity itself. It is breathing, listening and self-knowledge; worship and respect the body. It is pleasure without seeking a climax, or penetration or genitality, but the objective is to enjoy the present and trust our partner.

Is it suitable for everyone?

Yes, since it invites you to relax and enjoy in a calmer way without losing passion. It is another way to communicate and, at the same time, learn with our partner. Just like in yoga or mindfulness, breathing and looking are the keys to tantric sex. You have to focus both on your own feelings and those of the other person. Breathe deeply, control your breathing and let yourself go, achieving incredible emotional freedom.

Can it be practiced alone? How to start practicing it as a couple? What advice would you give?

This practice, increasingly popular, allows people to get to know their own bodies, going further, so it is also perfect to be carried out alone. But if we decide to start as a couple, it is also a very good idea, since tantric sex invites you to share intimacy and focuses a lot on the connection with the other person. Of course, it is essential to have self-confidence to give our best version.

As tips to get started in tantric sex, at JOYclub we propose:

• The dialogue. Make sure the person you are going to have tantric sex with knows what it is and is willing to try it. Communicate and learn with your partner. Break the taboos and tell him without fear why you want to experiment with tantric sex.

• Size does not matter, but the place does. When there is desire, the place is the least important, but for tantric sex you will need a space where you feel relaxed. Set the room to your liking: dim lighting, relaxing background music, etc.

• Breathing and looks: your best allies. Just like in yoga or mindfulness, breathing and looking are the keys to tantric sex. Hold your gaze and focus on your own feelings as well as those of the other person. Breathe deeply, control your breathing. Inhale and exhale feeling each breath.

• The Excitement: time to warm up. We have everything prepared and we are connecting with our partner through looks and senses. The time has come to go one step further: a massage with oils, caresses with feathers or other sex toys to get you in the mood. Calmly, forget about the clock and the pressure to have an orgasm.

• Ejaculation remains a substitute. Out with coitocentrism in tantric sex! Ejaculation is no longer the objective of the sexual encounter and becomes another stage. If you manage to reach an intense level of connection and complicity, you will reach climax.

What are its greatest benefits?

This way of slow sex It is perfect for getting to know yourself and the person you practice with, since it is a way to go further, with an incredible physical and mental connection. The objective, as he said, is to connect with the other person by going beyond intercourse, with caresses, looks, movements. It is a kind of philosophy, of putting all your attention on what you do, having greater control of our movements at all times. In short, live in the present here and now.

Does it entail risks?

No, it’s more spiritual than anything else. Knowing our body and mind and sharing it with the other person, where a unique peace of mind prevails, so necessary today due to the frenetic pace that we usually lead, is the objective. Above all, it is best to inform yourself beforehand and agree with the other person, if we are going to practice it as a couple, to enjoy the moment.

What positions are recommended?

There are many alternatives slow that we can practice. An example is breathing, placing a hand on the other person’s heart and feeling, silently, their heartbeat, looking into their eyes. Another may be to sit face to face, on top of each other, and feel embraced. Another, move slowly. A perfect way to add pleasure and sexual energy.

From the JOYclub magazine you can access a course on tantra, taught by the expert Inana Luna, from which you can get many more ideas.

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