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What is emotional dependence and how to avoid it

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Did you know that in Spain the emotional dependence affects almost 50% of the population, being even more common in young people between 16 and 31 years old? It could be said that emotional dependence is one of the great problems of the 21st century and one of the main obstacles to mental health.

A dependency that, in addition to being associated with drugs, gambling, work, food, friends or social networks, takes on special importance, especially in the field of relationships.

Relationships with emotional dependence as the protagonistin which the person desperately seeks a series of unsatisfied emotional demands, turning the other person into that source of satisfaction of their emotional needs and even forgetting about themselves or what they were like before starting that relationship.

But what really is emotional dependence and how can we deal with it?

What is it?

One can speak of emotional dependence when there is a excessive or permanent emotional attachment with another person and this is a feeling that deep down hides low self-esteem or even certain emotional deficiencies in the person who suffers from it.

An emotional dependence on that other person, in which there is a series of addictive behaviors, in addition to having associated emotions, thoughts, motivations and behaviors that always seek the proximity of the other to feel satisfaction, security or even recognition.

All this causes in the person who suffers this emotional dependence, also a high level of suffering that is usually accompanied by this feeling of not being able to live without the other person by which attachment is experienced.

And, although all people have a certain level of emotional dependence, the truth is that the problem appears when a person allows themselves to be controlled by the need for approval, but also because of this excessive need for the other to feel good or even sure of themselves and because of the consequent fear of loneliness, even when we are aware that this relationship is not good for us.

Does self-esteem matter?

The self-esteem it is related to that value that as independent people we give to ourselvesbut also consequently with how we face each and every one of the challenges and situations that are part of our lives.

Low self-esteem is often associated with fear and also with doubts when it comes to facing those challenges or goals that we set for ourselves in our daily lives. It can even lead us to experience some type of emotional dependence due to that fear or insecurity that we experience when being alone with ourselves and that can even lead us to cling to a toxic relationship, even being aware of its negative consequences.

A self-esteem that we build during the first years of life and that evolves in each person according to the passage of time and their experiences. But what happens when that self-esteem is too low and we find ourselves in a relationship of emotional dependence?

This excessive dependence means that simply The idea of ​​ending the relationship sounds terrifying. It can even lead us to forget about ourselves in order to maintain that relationship, also forgetting what we were like before starting that dependency relationship.

How can it be avoided?

It is crucial that the person who experiences this relationship of emotional dependence be aware that you suffer from it and understand the magnitude of what that means.

Therapeutic and psychological help In these cases it is crucial, at the same time as it is to do extra work with our own self-esteem to find ourselves and above all to become aware of what happens to us with that person.

Above all, it is vital to be aware that loving does not imply suffering and that being happy is an indisputable right of all people, two aspects that will never be linked to a relationship of emotional dependence.

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